Just Me and My Guys

Noah the pragmatist

2010-01-02T23:23:00.003-07:00

So yesterday I had a bit of a meltdown with my boys and once the guilt had set in I asked both of them to sit down with me and help me figure out a way for all of us - especially me - to stop yelling so much. Here are their suggestions:

Adam: Maybe instead of yelling we can say "please" and "thank-you" and "your welcome" and other nice things.

Noah: How 'bout we just keep yelling until our voices don't work anymore and then we will stop?

Phil's calls Noah our pragmatist. After this comment I would have to agree with him on that point.

Haiti is in his blood

2009-12-22T09:50:00.004-07:00

This is the conversation that happened immediately following the opening of the blinds at our house this morning:

Me: (with some excitement) Hey boys, it’s starting to snow!

Silence from the other room and then . . .

Noah: NOT AGAIN! I hate it when it snows again and again and again and I hate it and it’s FREEZING COLD and I hate it when it snows every single day, and it better stop snowing because I hate it and it makes me cold . . . (and he keeps talking with that general sentiment without taking a breath until Adam interrupts)

Adam: But Noah, it didn’t snow yesterday and it didn’t snow the day before that or the day before that.

Noah: Uh-huh it did and it's cold in the snow.

Adam: But the snow is almost all melted because it hasn't snowed for awhile.

Noah: Yeah it did, at my school.

Adam: You didn’t even go to school.

Noah: Well . . . I still HATE it.

Clearly our little Noah would have chosen a family in a warmer climate if given the opportunity. Good thing it wasn't up to him. I haven't had the heart to break it to him that this winter is just getting started.

Fortunately, we have lots of hot cocoa (heavy on the marshmallows) in mugs bigger than their heads to help take the bite out of the Utah cold.

My Family

2009-12-18T09:32:00.012-07:00

Last night we attended the annual Christmas dinner hosted by BYU's Counseling Center (where Phil works, and where I used to work). A couple of weeks ago he told me that they asked him for a family picture and a spotlight talking about our family's experience with adoption. Although I wasn't all that excited about having the attention come our way, after Phil asked me to email him a family picture, I didn't give it much thought. I had actually forgotten about it until right before they did it and I was curious to see what kind of a spotlight Phil had written. As much as I didn't want the attention, I am 100% positive that Phil wanted it even less than I did. Last night at the dinner, in the midst of several other family spotlights, our family picture was plastered across a giant screen at the front of the room as they read what Phil had written about how our family came to be.

I love my boys. I love Phil. And I love that he gave me this reminder of just how much our Heavenly Father loves us and watches over us, and always does what's best for us even though it may not be apparent to us when we are in the midst of struggles.

This is what Phil wrote:

There really wasn't anything altruistic or remarkable about our decision to adopt. If we wanted a family that included children - this was to be our lot. However, somewhere along our journey to parenthood Julie and I were taught lessons that not only changed our perspective of what it means to be a family, but have fundamentally altered the way we view life and it's many surprises.

You could characterize our first decision to adopt as "simply" looking to create the family that we had, up to this point, been denied by biology. We endured years of pain, grief, and invasive medical procedures. However, little did we realize at the time that God was about to manifest His mercy and extend His healing grace to a young woman in Cache Valley as well as to Julie and myself. The act of adoption placed sweet Adam in our home and was the answer to nine years of prayer. The adoption process, although difficult, taught us the valuable lesson of surrender to the will of the Divine and increased our faith that God is ultimately in control.

Our next experience with adoption put all of those former lessons to the test and set the Rash family on a course that we had never, in a million years, dreamed would be ours. Our plan was to simply add one more child to our family. We envisioned an adoption much like we experienced with Adam. God, on the other hand, had a much different plan. Almost four years ago during Christmas break, Julie and I independently learned, through means that we can only describe as "spiritual", that our next child wasn't in Utah, he wasn't even in the United States. We were most definitely "called" to an orphanage on the small, hopelessly corrupt, and poverty stricken island of Haiti. The end result of this grueling adoption blessed our family with little Noah.

We were again forced (mostly by U.S. Immigration Services) to come to grips with the concepts of surrender and faith. By-the-way, several U.S. Immigration Service employees learned that you'd better not stand in the way of a couple who believe that God has a little boy who is waiting for them to pick him up from an orphanage in Haiti! We also learned in a very powerful way that God's idea of family really doesn't know borders, race, or culture.

Perhaps the greatest lessons from these experiences are still unfolding and we aren't sure what the future has in store for the Rash family. Ultimately, however, we are grateful for the lessons. But most of all we are eternally grateful for our two wonderful little boys!

Long time . . .

2009-12-13T22:51:00.004-07:00

Wow. I think this is the longest break I've taken from the blog since I started it close to 3 years ago. There's no reason for the break, other than the fact that I've been very busy lately and stuff like this tends to drop down the priority list when other, more immediate tasks present themselves. Unfortunately, I'm in no shape to do any catching up tonight. I have been fending off illness for a week now, and as of last night I officially lost the battle. Noah is also sick . . . but with very different symptoms . . . and we spent most of today sharing space on the couch. This is the first time he's been sick since he came home over two years ago and it's been very sad. Sick Noah really, really, really likes me though. We have had a lot of cuddle time over the past few days. He is a pretty good patient too. As long as I hold him or let him watch Krypto the Superdog, he suffers in relative silence. He's not been well for a few days now, and if he's not doing better by morning, I'm going to have to figure out a way to drag both of us to the doctor's office. No fun.

Anyway, the reason for this post came from Adam. Last night he was my date for the Annual Mormon Tabernacle Choir Concert. This year the guest was Natalie Cole and, as always, the show was wonderful. Phil decided to stay home with sick Noah so Adam and I ventured north and even though I wasn't feeling great, it was worth it.

When we arrived at the concert center in SLC, Adam recognized that we were in the place where we watch General Conference. (He didn't call it that though. To him, General Conference is crepe Sunday since we always have a crepe buffet while watching conference.) Anyway, when Adam realized the connection it apparently reminded him of Sunday and this is the conversation that followed:

Adam: Mom, do you know my favorite thing about Sunday?

Me: No. What is it?

Adam: Thinking about Jesus.

Me: (smiling proudly) Awwwwwww . . . that's great Adam. That's the best thing about Sunday.

Adam: Do you know what I HATE about Sunday?

Me: No. What do you hate?

Adam: (emphatically) Going to CHURCH!

When I told Phil about it this morning, he laughed pretty hard. Then, he said "How sad is it that he makes no connection between thinking about Jesus and going to church?"

Clearly we need to be doing something differently.

Bonding moments

2009-11-17T17:48:00.005-07:00

When:
Right now. I'm typing as I'm listening to this interaction.

Players:
Noah - who is in trouble and laying on his bed
Adam - who is in the middle of a "no screen" day so he's desperate for things besides TV and video games to do

Scene:
The boys bedroom (while I am in the room next door on the computer).

Adam took a book into the bedroom and offered to read to Noah while he is on his bed. Noah is listening intently while Adam reads about Adam and Eve from the Children's Bible Storybook that Auntie gave them. This is what Adam just now said:
"Listen to this part Noah . . . it's good. Adam and Eve were in the Garden, and they were . . . NAKED!"

giggle, giggle from both boys

Adam is still reading and he just now said "Wait a minute . . . why is there snot on this book?" After Noah told him that he had no idea how it might have gotten there, Adam just kept on reading Apparently the question was prompted by genuine curiosity rather than disgust. He just now pointed out that it's a pretty long book so maybe they should read more later. Noah is in agreement so it appears that they are moving on to something else. Adam just suggested that they go downstairs so that Noah can listen to Adam play the piano. He's working on the Jaws theme and Noah is more than happy to be his audience, even though he only knows the part where the shark is swimming towards some unexpecting victim and he plays those two notes over and over and over and over . . .

I love my boys. I'm a little concerned that they are bonding over naked people and snot, but that's better than yelling and screaming.

Quote of the Week

2009-11-14T11:20:00.001-07:00

(We haven't had one of these for quite awhile, but I think this one earns its place on the blog.)

From Noah's bedtime prayer last night:

. . . And bless some people to not be mad . . . like mommies . . . at their little boys. . .

So if you are a mommy to a little boy who frustrates you sometimes, see what you can do about being the answer to his prayer. I'll work on it in our house.

Tag!

2009-11-12T08:39:00.010-07:00

I've been tagged, and since I really have nothing going on to blog about (unless you want to hear about our pee trauma yet again) this gives me something to put on here so that nobody thinks I'm dead. Thanks KJ for helping me prove to people (including myself) that I'm not dead.

5 Things I Don’t Leave The House Without
1. Head
2. Shoulders
3. Knees
4. Toes (and all the parts in between)
5. Clothing to cover it all (you're welcome).
(Everything else - including the phone - is optional.)

5 Cartoons I Watched When I Was Younger
1. Jetsons
2. Mighty Mouse
3. Superheroes (I had a crush on Aqua Man of all things)
4. Hong Kong Phooey
5. Fat Albert
(Looking at that list I'm thinking there was a shortage of little girl shows . . .or these were just better.)

5 Things That Terrify Me
1. Moths, Bats, and anything else that might fly into my face
2. Rodents (especially muskrats that find their way into my garage)
3. My future daughters-in-law
4. Our recently elected city council
5. Horror Movies (I REFUSE to watch anything that is even slightly scary.)

5 Things I Hate/Dislike That Everyone Else Seems To Like
1. Rush Limbaugh
2. Twilight and all things related.(Do people really think that Robert Pattinson is good looking???)
3. Call waiting
4. Rachael Ray
5. The New York Yankees

5 Things I Want To Do Before I Die
1. Potty train Noah
2. See my boys happy and successful and taking care of their mother
3. Meet my grandkids
4. Go scuba diving (that one should be easy, but I still haven't done it)
5. See the Greek Isles and the Mediterranean

5 Friends/Family I Tag
1. Britney
2. Amanda
3. Michelle
4. Mike
5. Maren

What EXACTLY does this mean?

2009-10-30T09:05:00.009-06:00

So I went to Parent/Teacher conference at Adam's school yesterday. It wasn't one of those times where I was nervous about what I was going to hear. I volunteer in Adam's class which means that I talk to his teacher regularly and I'm pretty sure that if there was a problem I would know about it. I consider myself to be pretty aware and involved with the things that are going on with my boys (this is me patting myself on the back for my excellent parenting skills). This conference was really just one of those things that good parents do, and since we are good parents, we headed to the school.

After waiting for our turn for longer than we expected, Phil finally had to leave because he was going to be late for another meeting. I assured him that it was fine . . . this really isn't a big deal . . . you can go and I'll report back. So he left me sitting there with Adam, still waiting for our turn. Adam noticed another little boy pick a prize out of a basket that was sitting next to his teacher. He got excited and wondered out loud if he would get a prize too. He told me that if he got a good report he would get a prize. That's how it works I guess. Adam sat there the rest of the time completely preoccupied with the prize box. I didn't mind because it kept him in his seat, relatively quiet.

Then it was finally our turn. We confidently stepped up to the table and proceeded with the obligatory parent/teacher interaction. His teacher is very nice and Adam likes her a lot. I like

her too and she seems to be a good fit for Adam. As expected, she told me that Adam is doing really well academically. He loves math and is doing great there. No concerns at all. He loves reading and is doing great, but he needs to work a little bit on his comprehension. Adam has always been a really good reader, as far as getting the words, but he needs to work on paying attention to what he is reading. She told me that the whole class is working on that. It's a pretty standard thing for third graders. Okay. No surprise there. No worries with spelling. He is doing better with his writing, but I'm very aware that it's probably his least favorite thing in school because it takes too much time. Adam does better when he can just cruise through things, e.g math and reading. Writing requires more thought and patience; two things that he doesn't necessarily have in great abundance. His teacher told me that he's learning to formulate his ideas better and she is pleased with his recent work. I was pleasantly surprised to hear that.

Then I threw out the questions that I was pretty sure I already knew the answers to. But again, I'm a good mom so I have to play along and ask the right questions to show that I am a concerned and plugged-in parent:

Me: How is his behavior?

Mrs. A: Things are pretty good. He's doing sooooo much better.

Me: Umm . . . what do you mean?

Mrs. A: He's definitely improved since school started. I've for sure seen a big difference over the past little while.

Me: Oh. (I'm suddenly feeling a little more cautious.) How's he doing with the other kids?

Mrs. A: Soooo much better.

Me: Oh. That's good.

So here's what I'm thinking at this point: Adam's not just doing better. He's doing soooooo much better. Doesn't that mean that he was doing some crazy things before? So, he has greatly improved which should make me feel good, but I can't help but wonder what in the heck was going on before he decided to turn a corner. I looked at Adam with my eyebrows raised, and he

just smiled back at me. Even though she told me that he was doing better, I think he knew that he was busted.

We finished with a few other things and then Adam and I got up to leave. He glanced at the prize box and his teacher nodded at him to let him know he was okay to dig in. Adam normally takes for-ev-er to pick a prize so I was happy to see him grab something with no hesitation at all. We started to walk away and he reached back and quickly grabbed something else. I was still a little confused by some of the things she had told me, but being the conscientious mom that I am, I smiled down at him and said that he can only have one thing and that he needed to put one of the prizes back. Before he could respond, his teacher said "Oh, those are his. They are things that I've confiscated and told him that he couldn't have back until you came in with him." Nice. Clearly the student-of-the-month award has drifted far beyond his grasp, right along with my parent of the month award (which doesn't really exist, but I dream about it anyway). On the bright side, he's completely okay with never being a student-of-the-month type of kid. Just this morning when I told him that he needed to pick a different shirt to wear he told me that he didn't care if he looked like an idiot. In fact, he said that he likes to look like an idiot. Those were his words.

At least I can take solace in knowing that he's smart, even though he's apparently determined to never let anybody know it.

Skittle-licious Daddy

2009-10-23T09:34:00.005-06:00

In the car last night with all three of the guys. Adam was thirsty so I handed him an unopened water bottle from the front seat. This is how it went from there:

Adam: (after a brief struggle) I can't get this open . . . Dad? Can you open it?

Phil: Sure. (Adam hands Phil the bottle, and magically, Phil opens it without too much of a struggle at all. He then triumphantly hands it back to Adam.)

Adam: How did you do that?

Noah: (with one of his seemingly "That makes no sense" comments.) Daddy has skittles.

Adam: He does?

Phil: I do?

Noah: Yeah . . . you have big skittles.

Adam: Where? I want some!

Phil: No I don't.

Noah: Yeah . . . you have big skittles to open the water.

Phil: Whu . . . oh, do you mean muscles?

Noah: Yeah, muscles. You have skittles and muscles!

Phil: He's not too far off. This body has had a few too many skittles.

17 years

2009-10-22T09:04:00.005-06:00

The funny conversations that happen in my house usually involve one of my younger boys. This one though, came from the older boy in the house while we were driving in the car. We were talking about people who struggle with depression and other issues that might make them feel like they just don't want to do life anymore. I'm not always as compassionate as I should be (shocking to those closest to me, I know) and my view on it is that you've got to do everything you can to just suck it up and keep going, even when it's hard and things are dark. This is a paraphrased version of the conversation, with the important parts pretty much word-for-word:

Phil: Maybe I've been living with you too long, but I'm starting to think the same way.

Me: Especially if you've got kids . . . you don't get to just lay in bed all day and ignore your responsibilities. Sometimes you've just got to will yourself to keep putting one foot in front of the other and I think that if you keep going, sometimes the fog can lift a little bit. But it's so easy to just let it overwhelm you and then it gets worse.

Phil: I'm not so sure that everybody needs therapy to deal with their issues either. Sometimes if you just force yourself to keep going, things can get better.

Me: But if you allow yourself the luxury of just checking out, I think you can sometimes create a downward spiral and it is self-perpetuating.

Phil: Seriously. I've been depressed for 17 years. Where would we be if I just decided that I didn't want do get up in the morning, even on the days that I just feel a weight over me?

Me: 17 years? You've been depressed for 17 years?

Phil: You know what I mean. Off and on . . . some days it's just hard to push through the fog.

Me: Happy 17th anniversary, dear.

Phil: Doh!

After that there was a lot of fumbling and backtracking and I think he said something about 17 just being a random number and he wasn't even thinking that our 17th anniversary was the day before.

And I told him that he just made the blog. And he was embarrassed and didn't think I would really put this out there. Silly Phil.

(In the interest of letting everybody know that we aren't complete heathens, Phil is a psychologist who does therapy as part of his job. We both recognize that depression is real. And we both know that sometimes issues can be so serious that you can't just "will" your way through it. We weren't talking about those situations.)

Top Ten Reasons that a Caribbean Cruise is a GREAT way to vacation!

2009-10-20T08:18:00.018-06:00

10. When you cruise the Caribbean, you can jump off from New Orleans, and New Orleans is where you will find Bourbon street, and Bourbon Street is an EXCELLENT place to take young boys on the Saturday afternoon before the Saturday night Florida/LSU football game.

I can't know for sure since there's no way for me to be inside his head, but I'm fairly certain that in this one Noah was contemplating the risks/benefits of following a couple of frat guys into the bar for a margarita . . . until he realized that I was watching.

(BTW - I've decided that New Orleans is a pretty cool city. I'll try to post details on our time there later.)

9. New Orleans also has Cafe du Monde which serves a mean beignet. Everywhere else in the USA a beignet is called a scone, but in New Orelans they dump gallons of powdered sugar on the bread after it is fried and if you say beignet with a French accent you can convince yourself that eating six of them isn't unhealthy. It's French after all, and who on earth eats healthier than the French?

8. My boys seem to like each other more when they are waiting to get on a cruise ship bound for the Yucatan Peninsula. I'm almost positive that if we were waiting to get on a cruise ship bound for the Baja Peninsula they would have been fighting a lot more.

And it wasn't just because they were excited to get going. This one is from the middle of the week in Cozumel. Adam was towing Noah in after Noah got tired of swimming, and they were both laughing. I'm telling you, this water is magical.

And this one is from the last day when we were waiting to leave. Because Noah doesn't have his citizenship yet we had to attend a meeting with other non-citizens before they would let us off the boat. Phil and I were MUCH more cranky at this point because we had been waiting for an hour for Sergio and Barbara to show up before we could go through customs. I know we were waiting for Sergio and Barbara because they were paged approximately a dozen times before they decided to finally stumble in and join the rest of us. We found out later that the debarkation process for the entire ship was held up because of these yahoos. Thanks Serge. Thanks Barb.

(I'm choosing to block out the one ugly incident between the boys when I was in the shower and Phil was on the deck and they got in a fight. Noah drew blood with a fierce scratch to Adam's cheek. We still aren't exactly sure what Adam did to provoke him, but I'm guessing they came out even.)

7. Phil is waaaaayyyyyy more radical in the Caribbean.

6. Noah was near his homeland, and I think he felt it.

He rocked the dance floor . . .

And the dining room . . .

And the beach!

5. I'm pretty sure that Progresso, Mexico is the only place on the planet that after a day at the beach an 8-year-old American boy can barter with a middle-aged Mexican man to get a shriveled shark head for the bargain price of $5. And you'll be happy to know that shriveled shark heads maintain their lovely ocean odor for what seems to be forever. Much like a beloved new puppy, the shark head spent his first night home in Adam's bedroom. After opening the bedroom door the next morning I quickly determined that the shark head would live in the garage indefinitely.

4. Towel animals and mints on our bed every night . . . and, let's be real, somebody else making the beds every morning.

3. Twelve skinny little boys in one hot tub . . . and they were all happy to share the space. I'm sure that the hot tub reserved for the adults that you can see in the top of this picture wasn't nearly as friendly (at least not in the middle of the day).

2. Breakfast on deck with Noah while Phil and Adam snoozed away in the cabin.

This is another one where I can't know for sure, but I think Noah was doing another risk/benefit analysis. This time the question was whether or not the people laying out on the lower deck would appreciate having syrup or juice dribbled on their backs.

1. This is not a chlorinated swimming pool with it's bottom painted blue . . . this is what the Caribbean ocean looks like. Unbelievable.

1a. Cheeseburgers and Pizza for dinner EVERY NIGHT if that's what you choose. Noah did inhale a cheeseburger every single night, and one night he followed it up with a pb&j. Adam mixed it up a little bit and only had pizza half the time.

Phil convinced Adam to have the lobster tail one night . . . (that Phil and I happily finished off after Adam got full),

. . . and after much contemplation, he even tried some escargots. He liked them. According to Adam, they taste just like beef. I think Adam actually gained a pound or two on the cruise. (Notice the scratches on his face? Thanks Noah.)

The escargots were also a hit with Sam. . .

But not so much with Lizzy.

1b. Chocolate Melting Cake! This little cup of paradise was my cheeseburger. I convinced myself that it was calorie and fat free so that I could enjoy one every night. .

1c. 'Nuff said.

I tried to keep it to ten, but seriously, that wasn't going to happen. There's no way. I'll post more pics on facebook in a day or two if anybody is really interested in seeing more.

Pinewood Derby: Success!

2009-10-08T10:47:00.014-06:00

Last night was Adam's first ever Pinewood Derby. It was his dad's second ever. Phil's first one was a less than successful outing that came when he was a scouter himself. He told us that the wheels tumbled off of his car the first time down the track and that was the bitter ending to his very short Pinewood Derby career. As they worked on Adam's car Phil kept telling him to not get his hopes up about winning because Phil knew nothing about building the cars and none of us had any idea how it would turn out.

Without sharing all of the details, we have far greater hopes for Adam's future as a derby participant. He came in second last night and we all came home very excited. Adam just wanted one of the trophies and they all looked the same to him so first, second, third was irrelevant. When they announced his name for second place he trotted over to the table where the trophies had been sitting and was stunned to see the space empty. He seriously did a double-take and then looked over at us panicked as if to say "What the heck happened to MY trophy?" Apparently when he had stopped staring at the trophies for a split second they had moved them to the front of the room. Anyway, here are a few picture highlights from Adam's (and Phil's) big night.

The Masterpiece - It won the award for "Best Body Work" too. Phil was so proud.

Phil acted like it didn't matter. He kept telling everybody that I was the competitive one in the family. I say this picture says otherwise. It looks to me like there was some smack talking going on between Phil and the other little boys.

Adam's car is in the middle here, which was the slow lane for some reason. I think Hunter's car (right side) edged Adam out by a hair in this race.

Waiting at the finish line.

Collecting his trophy.

Adam with his buddy, Hunter, who took third place. In case you can't tell, they were very excited.

Even if his car hadn't done so well, I felt pretty good about the fact that he was definitely the cutest kid out there. (I'm not at all biased.) Hunter is pretty darn cute too.

Things I am Grateful For: Ex-lax and Citrucel (keep reading - it's not what you think)

2009-10-06T07:18:00.008-06:00

Because I know it's on everybody's mind, and a few of you have even asked, I guess it's time to dish on what happened when I took Noah to Primary Children's last week for a thorough discussion about his "pee issues" with the pediatric urologist. I won't go into all of the details because sheets need to be changed and the lawn needs to be mowed (hopefully for the last time this year). Let's just say that without doing some "very invasive procedures" they can't be 100% sure, but they are pretty much convinced that there is nothing physically wrong with Noah . . . at least not yet. They gave me the go ahead to continue banging my head against the wall. Yipppeeeeeee!!

I came home with an article entitled "Parent's Guide: Normal and Abnormal Urination in Children" (guess which category my boy is in) and instructions to give Noah some Ex-lax and Citrucel to loosen his bowels. I'm not sure where they got the idea that his bowels needed to be loosened and I was more than skeptical upon hearing that advice. At first all I could come up with by way of explanation was that if we loosen him up maybe he will start pooping his pants too and that way the pee wouldn't seem so bad. In reality, she gave me a really involved explanation about how his pooping muscles and his peeing muscles work the same way. She had a theory that his pee issues are a result of him holding it in to the point that he doesn't even notice the pressure anymore and it eventually overflows. She said that he most likely never completely empties his bladder either, so he's never far from overflowing which explains why the kid can pee 27 times in a single day. (I obviously paraphrased - her explanation was much more clinical). She said it's not uncommon in kids who are "busy" because they just don't want to be interrupted for something so mundane as a potty break. Most kids, even the busy ones, eventually get past it, but some of the "busier" kids continue to struggle beyond what seems reasonable, e.g. Noah. If he was having those pee issues she theorized that he was probably also holding in his poop and we needed to clean him out. I told her that he poops pretty much everyday, but she convinced me to at least try it to see what might come out. She said that if he can learn to properly use his pooping muscles he will hopefully also learn to properly use his pee muscles.

So, against every sane thought in my head, I decided that I really had nothing to lose (other than a pair of underwear or two) so I came home by way of Rite-Aid and picked up the Ex-lax. The next day I took Noah shopping and we picked out a bunch of potty prizes. I had tried the reward method about a year ago with complete failure, but armed with the knowledge that he didn't have a physical problem I was prepared to give it another go. I was more than willing to take a gamble thinking that if it worked it would be the best 30 bucks I had ever spent.

Long story short, by day two on Ex-lax and Citrucel (which he LOVES by the way - he calls it Super-cell) that kid was cleaner than a whistle and I was beginning to catch the doctor's vision. Without getting too graphic let's just say that I was AMAZED at how much storage space Noah has in his little body. Holy poop!

This is how it's gone up to this point:

Day 1 after clean out: Dry until about 5:00. No prize for Noah, but we are all feeling optimistic.

Day 2 after clean out: Dry until about 3:00 and then dry for the rest of the day. No prize again, but still feeling okay about our plan.

Day 3 after clean out (yesterday): Dry. All day. Really. When I dropped him off at pre-school I asked them to send him to the bathroom before recess rather than waiting for him to ask and he cooperated. Noah got his first prize last night for not wetting his pants the entire day and he was thrilled. I was more thrilled.

This picture is just evidence for me to look back on later when he undoubtedly does some backsliding. I have a feeling that I will need a reminder at some point that he CAN do it and that we shouldn't give up. The underwear on his head is proof that he did it for a day. I never would have put it on his head unless it was TOTALLY clean and dry. Wooo-hooooooo!!

For his first prize he picked the sticky hand, and he has been busy doing damage with it all morning, which is totally okay with me. :-)

Optimistic Adam

2009-10-04T22:19:00.003-06:00

This morning Phil and I were doing our best to take advantage of conference Sunday by sleeping in, but our boys had a very different idea. Although we couldn't sleep over the noise they were making downstairs, neither of us wanted to get up, so we stayed in bed and listened to them with our eyes still closed. This is a portion of what we heard:

Adam: Noah, what is 84 division by 12?

Noah:

Adam: C'mon Noah . . . what is it? 84 division by 12?

Noah:

Adam: 84 division by 12 . . . 84 division by 12 . . . Seriously Noah, you KNOW this one.

Noah:

Me: (laughing as much as my half asleep body would allow) Do you hear that?

Phil: (with his eyes still closed and in a very groggy voice) Yeah I hear them. Noah barely learned how to count to 10. He only gets his ABC's right about half the time. And he still hasn't mastered bladder control but Adam somehow thinks he can do division???!?

Now that's a supportive (although misguided) older brother, don't you think?

Another conversation with Noah

2009-10-02T08:41:00.005-06:00

This one occurred approximately 90 seconds ago:

Noah: Mom? Did you ever get ate when you were a grown-up?

Me: Ummm . . . no.

Noah: (thinking, thinking) "You didn't get ate?"

Me: Nope.

Noah: You were just baptized?

Me: (completely confused) "Uhhh . . . yeah."

Noah: And then you got to be our mom?

Me: Uhhh . . . Sure.

Noah: (suddenly very excited) And then all the other grown-ups got to be your mom, and Grandma's mom and Sam's mom!

Me: (puzzled head shake and eyebrow raise) Are you ready to get dressed?

It just occurred to me as I was typing this that maybe there is some logic going on in his head. I'm thinking that he was confusing "ate" with "eight" and that's why the whole baptism thing came into it. I have no explanation whatsoever for the rest of it and I'm beginning to wonder if I will ever figure this kid out.

It also just occurred to me that much of what I say to Noah is preceded by a drawn out "Ummm" or "Uhhhh". No wonder he has a stuttering problem. I can't help it though since so much of what I am saying to him immediately follows something completely nonsensical that he has said to me. The Um or Uh gives me a second to process before I respond and without that second I fear what I might be agreeing to.

Yikes!

2009-09-24T09:33:00.004-06:00

The conversation I had with Noah about 30 minutes ago:

Me: Noah, we have to get you dressed because your friend is coming over!

Noah: My friend? Who friend?

Me: Zack! Zack is coming to see us for a little while.

Noah: Zackers??!? Yeaaaa! I love Zackers!

Me: It will be so fun, so let's get you dressed before he gets here.

Noah: And I will try really hard to not push him down the stairs.

Me: stunned silence (once again)

To my knowledge Noah has never pushed Zack (or anybody else) down the stairs, so I have no idea where that came from. Needless to say, I am keeping a close eye on them.

Scratch that . . .

2009-09-22T12:31:00.002-06:00

He just climbed onto my lap so that we could enjoy a bonding moment before I take him to pre-school. His pants were wet. When I asked him why he pee'd his pants he told me that's it's because I didn't tell him that he had to go potty. Except that I did tell him . . . approximately 7 times in the past two hours.

Pediatric urologist, here we come. Tuesday morning. Puh-lease tell me this is something that can be fixed physically so that I don't have to keep banging my head against the wall trying to get it to click in his brain.

And if he doesn't stop laughing every time he pee's his pants, this world is going to see a whole new side of me that NOBODY - including me - wants to see.

So much for a bonding moment.

It appears that Noah and I are on the same page today.

2009-09-22T07:41:00.003-06:00

Noah just woke up and stumbled out of his bedroom in a bit of a sleepy head daze. I was sitting at the computer checking my email and as he walked by the office I called him in for a good morning hug. He climbed up on my lap and these were his first words of the day:

I really, really don't want to pee my pants. . . .

And I really, really don't want Adam to be mean . . .

Because that would be a bad idea.

I can't help but wonder what he dreamed about last night.

Call Your Mother!

2009-09-21T08:45:00.003-06:00

For the past three days Noah has been walking around saying "One call . . . that's all!" over and over again. That just happens to be the slogan for one of the Salt Lake city ambulance chasing law firms that has non-stop commercials on the television and apparently their message is sufficiently drilled into his head.

Yesterday I asked him why he keeps saying it: "One call . . . that's all! One call . . . that's all! One call . . . that's all!" He looked at me, hesitated for a moment, and then said very insistently "Because you need to call your mother!"

Give the boy credit for thinking on his feet.

I guess I'm going to call Grandma Lo-Lo today.

Noah funnies

2009-09-18T23:14:00.005-06:00

The conversation at our dinner table last night:

Phil: Okay, let's see if we can avoid an argument tonight. I'm thinking of a number between one and ten. Whoever guesses closest to the number gets to say the blessing.

Adam: Five!

Noah: Orange!

Huh?

Conversation on our couch yesterday afternoon:

Phil and I are sitting on the couch talking about I don't remember what. Noah comes in very excited about something and tries to tell us what he wants to do, but Noah has a stuttering problem when he gets excited so sometimes he has a really hard time getting his words out. This is how it went:

Noah: Mom, I um um I um I wanna I wanna I um tel tel television I um Sponge Sponge Sponge I tv um tv um I wanna watch watch I um um um Sponge um um um Bob . . .

Phil: (very calmly) Noah . . . slow down . . . take a breath . . . think about what you want to say . . . "Mom, I wanna watch Sponge Bob." Just slow down a little bit and say it just like that.

Noah: Okay. Mom? I wanna go on a bike ride.

And a not so funny:

After running errands today Noah and I returned home and he was mad at me because I wouldn't give him some candy that was on the floor in the grocery store. He was throwing a mini-tantrum and wouldn't get out of the car, so I left him out there and went into the house. He then got really mad because I left him out there and came in about ten seconds behind me announcing that he was really mad and was going to slam the door.

Me: Noah . . . you better not slam the door or you will go lay on your bed.

Noah: But I'm really mad at you.

Me: You can be mad at me, but you don't get to slam the door.

Noah: thoughtful pause

Me: I'm serious, Noah. Don't slam the door or you will have to go to your bed.

Noah: I'm going to slam the door, and then I'm going to run before you can get me.

That's exactly what he did, but at least he ran upstairs and got on his bed. Halfway up the stairs though, he stopped to ask me why I wasn't chasing him.

Noah at the Doctor

2009-09-15T09:30:00.007-06:00

I took Noah to the doctor on Monday so that we could talk about possible explanations for his potty issues. I was explaining to him why we were going and that the doctor was going to need to look at him and that it was okay because I was going to be there too. Noah really didn't want to go and he assured me multiple times that we didn't have to go because he for sure wasn't going to pee in his pants anymore. Yadda, yadda, yadda . . I've heard that promise before so off we went to the doctor's office.

Here's the funny part. When we got there the nurse said that she was going to need a urine sample and she gave me a cup. Remembering the trauma of trying to get Adam to pee in a cup a few years ago, I cringed but then told Noah "Yeaaaaaa! You get to pee in a cup."

His initial reaction was to mirror my enthusiasm but almost immediately he stopped and said "And then I have to drink it??" Heh, heh, heh . . . judging by the look on his face, I almost told him "Yes, then you have to drink it" because I'm pretty sure THAT would get him to stop peeing his pants. Better judgement prevailed though, so instead I told him that he didn't have to drink it and he, obviously relieved, said "Yeah because that would be really gwoss!"

A few facts related to this issue (in no particular order):

*Noah has gone through 15 pair of underwear in four days.

*The doctor said that his urine sample looks great. In fact, it is exactly what healthy urine should look like. (Yeah for Noah, he has nice urine. For some reason that didn't make me feel better.)

*This morning he asked me why he has to sleep in a diaper and he assured me once again that he's never going to pee in his pants again so now he doesn't have to sleep in a diaper. Hmmmm . . . I wonder if I should bite on that promise. Not.

*A friend of mine told me the other day that her son pee'd his pants on a regular basis until he was in the 4th grade. Whu??? Noooooooooooooooo! That's like telling a pregnant woman about your miscarriage or telling a cancer patient about somebody you know who died from the same disease. Okay, maybe not quite as bad as those things, but still painful for me to hear.

*We have a referral to go see a pediatric urologist at Primary Children's but I'm not real optimistic that they are going to find anything wrong. How sad is that? I'm actually hoping that they will find something wrong with my child because then they can fix it and we can move on. My fear though is that Noah still just doesn't care and we might be doing this until the 4th grade. Ugh.

*Noah is 40 inches tall (21st percentile) and weighs 34 pounds (23rd percentile).

*The pediatrician told me that Noah is remarkably muscular for a four-year-old. It's those good Haitian genes. Yesterday at gymnastics he actually was showing off doing one armed push-ups.

What is it? REVEALED

2009-09-15T08:16:00.008-06:00

Okay, so here is the answer that you have all been waiting for. Just as I predicted, nobody came even close but I'm impressed with the creativity. At first I totally laughed when I saw Kristi's guess of Adam's nose with macaroni, but then I looked at the picture again and she's right. It does look like Adam's nose with macaroni. Look at it again . . . you'll see.

This is what it looked like when I put it in Adam's school lunchbox one day last week:

This is what it looked like AFTER he removed it from the package, took what appears to be one or two bites out of it, and then put it in his pocket for possible later consumption (because eating lunch takes WAYYYYY too long and recess was waiting). He then apparently didn't get hungry again during the day so it stayed in his pocket until he removed his clothes at home that night. It was allowed to percolate at the bottom of the laundry basket for a couple of days prior to me putting it through a wash and double rinse cycle as well as a round on high in the dryer. At some point during the drying time it dislodged from his pocket and tumbled around until I finally pulled it out. You may be wondering how I even recognized that it was a cheese stick. Well, dear little Adam has a habit of leaving cheese sticks laying around so I've seen versions of this before. However, I have never seen one quite like this. It's a remarkable specimen. (This is the picture that I zoomed in on to get the original "What is it? image. It's a little more difficult to see the nose/macaroni thing here but you can still see it if you try.)

Who would have guessed that after spending 50 minutes on high in the dryer that a cheese stick would shrink to the size of a quarter and turn rock hard? Not me, and clearly none of you would have guessed that either. Apparently there's a lot of liquid in a cheese stick.

Here is the same cheese stick today, a week after I found it in the dryer. (Yes, I still have it. I have no idea why. Don't judge me.)

It is completely preserved and will probably stay in this state for the rest of eternity. If I always forget to go through Adam's pockets while doing laundry I just may end up adding significantly to my food storage

Boys, boys, boys . . . What are you thinking??!?

2009-09-14T08:35:00.004-06:00

So I was upstairs getting ready this morning while both of my boys were downstairs. I THOUGHT that Adam was eating breakfast and I THOUGHT that Noah was watching Diego. Those thoughts were interrupted by a strange sound coming from the kitchen. They were sounds that a child eating breakfast and a child watching Diego wouldn't have been making so I was a bit perplexed. As I started down the stairs to investigate I yelled to Adam: "What are you guys doing?"

His answer? "Playing lightsabers."

As they came into view while I was still on the stairs, I saw what they were swinging at each other:

I'm not sure what I should be more bothered by - the fact that they were playing with my knives like they were toys, or the fact that neither of them seemed to understand why I had a problem with that.

Can somebody please explain to me why Adam goes into anxiety overdrive when something like a hangnail produces a microscopic speck of blood on the end of his finger, yet having his somewhat spastic little brother swinging a 7 inch butcher knife at his head doesn't seem to concern him at all?

What is it? part 2

2009-09-12T12:45:00.003-06:00

Kudos to those of you who dared to try. Although you are leaps and bounds ahead of those who were too chicken to venture a guess (you know who you are), nobody is even in the ballpark . . . unless the ballpark is the most gigantic ballpark ever created, and everything else ever created is in that ballpark.

I'm going to wait another day or two to see if there are any other guesses. Here's a hint . . . unless you have (or live with) little boys you would likely never see this is real life. Hmmmmmmm . . . what could it be? Stay tuned.

Noah's Big Day!

2009-09-10T09:06:00.010-06:00

After watching Adam go to school for the past two weeks while he had to stay home with me, Tuesday was finally Noah's turn. He started pre-school at BYU and he couldn't have been more excited.

Phil and I went to a parent orientation last Thursday where, among other things, they instructed us in the fine art of pre-school drop-off. We were basically told that the best way to handle a reluctant child is a "grab-and-peel", i.e. grab the child who is clinging to his mother and peel him off of her even if he starts crying and acting like a limb is being severed. She assured us that the crying will stop very quickly that way, but if we linger and coax and plead and join in the sadness the crying will continue indefinitely. She told us that we shouldn't try to sneak out on our kid when he isn't looking because that is what will make him not trust the entire situation. I personally agree with that method, but I really wanted to ask her what her advice is for a parent who has a kid who doesn't start crying until his mother returns to pick him up. That was my fear for Noah. I knew that he would be totally okay getting dropped off, but I was more than a little worried that he would freak out when I returned to take him home.

Anyway, here are a few pictures from Noah's big day.

Noah wanted to leave as soon as Adam went out the door at 8:00 a.m. so I explained to him that we weren't going to pre-school until after lunch. He immediately wanted to eat breakfast and then got ticked when he finished eating and we still didn't leave. He clearly struggled with the breakfast/lunch distinction and it was a painful 4 hours while we waited for our real lunch.

Right after breakfast he picked out his clothes and wanted to put them on. Although I was a little nervous that getting dressed that early would mean those clothes wouldn't make it the 4 hours until pre-school, I didn't want to squash his enthusiasm once again, so I let him go for it. Magically, he didn't pee his pants and the clothes that he put on in the morning were the same clothes that he was wearing when he arrived at school. Thank heavens for small miracles. (Do you like the glazed over television stare? I don't remember for sure, but I think it was Sesame Street that was distracting him.)

The obligatory "I'm ready for the first day of school" photos. Doesn't he look so grown up?

Walking to class with Dad, and his fellow BYU Cougars.

Right before going into his classroom. Can you tell that he's excited?

Just as I predicted, drop-off was a piece of cake. I was a little sad, but Noah didn't hesitate for a second. I stayed and watched the proceedings from behind the mirrored windows and I'm happy to report a couple of things:

1) Noah is FAR from the brattiest kid in the class, although he clearly struggles with sitting still. It was so interesting to watch him try to be attentive, but after about 45 seconds of listening his little legs would start to wiggle and his eyes would start to wander as he surveyed the room for something else to do. A couple of times that "something else" was petting the long hair of the little girl sitting next to him. Fortunately, she didn't seem to mind. Another time the "something else" was laying down and rolling around until they would bring him back to the task at hand.

2) He made it through the 2-1/2 hours without peeing his pants. Wooo-hoooooooo!!

3) I think that Noah really wants to be good and he seems eager to learn so I am optimistic about the progress that he's going to make this year. Unlike Adam, I think Noah is a pleaser. If Adam does something that his teacher likes, he's happy with that, but that's not his agenda. Noah, on the other hand, thrives on positive feedback and he seems to want to make his teacher happy. The trick with this kid though is going to be helping him to understand how best to do that. He's not naughty just for the sake of being naughty. Rather, naughtiness comes out of him because he either doesn't understand or he forgets. I hope I'm right with this. We'll see.

I was the only parent sitting in the booth for most of the time and at one point the pre-school director joined me. We had a really good discussion as we watched the kids and I am 100% confident that Noah is in the best place he can possibly be in order to get a good start prior to his entrance into the public school system. He has a lot of learning to do and I know for certain that they are going to be able to teach him much better than I have been able to. And I also know that he is going to have a blast while he's there. This pre-school is all about learning by doing and they clearly are going to be doing a lot of cool things. Adam has gone with me to pick Noah up the past couple of days and he's very jealous that Noah gets such a cool classroom. He dragged Noah around the room yesterday showing him all of the "awesome" things that he has around him, as if Noah needed to be convinced.

I think both of my boys are off to a good start with school this year. Adam still isn't saying much about how his days are going, but his teacher has assured me that he's doing well and seems to be happy. He did ask his club leader what his name is, but then forgot it by the time he got home so I still don't know. The obviously aren't real tight, but at least they are having fun, and they've stopped the Sushi Pickle thing which is good (I think).