Two-fer Sunday: Noah stories

1. Phil was watching Noah and his friend Tyler on Saturday morning. They were playing with the Geo-trax and enjoying some three-year-old conversation. This is how it went:

Noah: Do you have big boy underwear?
Tyler: Yep.
Noah: Oh.
Tyler: Do you have big boy underwear.
Noah: Nope. . . I can just go pee-pee in my diaper.
Tyler: Oh.

He had not on ounce of big boy underwear envy and not a shred of shame. I swear he's doing it on purpose.

2. Noah got kicked out of nursery at church again today. I told the teachers that we have a zero tolerance policy in place and that if he acts up they need to bring him to me. I thought we had made it through today without any incidents, but at about ten minutes before it was time to go home, he appeared in the hallway with one of his teachers. She apologized before she passed
him off. This is the conversation that we had as we were walking down the hall to find a time-out corner:

Me: Noah, what did you do?
Noah: I did nufing.
Me: That's not true. What did you do?
Noah: Nufing.
Me: Noah . . . tell me, NOW.
Noah: I punched them (as he makes his evil face and shows me a punching motion accompanied by sound effects.)
Me: Who did you punch?
Noah: The nursery people.
Me: Why did you punch them?
Noah: I punched the other kids in nursery (another punching motion with the same sound effects).
Me: Get in the corner and wait for your dad.
Noah: Okay.

about a minute passes . . . .

Noah: I'm ready a be nice mom.
Me: Get back in the corner.
Noah: But I'm ready a be nice. (very whiny)
Me: Noah . . . get in that corner!
Noah: Whaaaaaaaaaaa . . . (as the time-out pain finally kicks in)